Things are different now. For my baby-boomer sisters, brothers and many entrepreneurs, many of us are NOT where we thought we would be or even planned to be at this stage of life. This post is for you…from a dear friend…
This is a guest post by Alfreda Lanoix, excerpt from “Go to HELL”
For me this might be it. I am living in the back of the house that was once mine. Don’t get me wrong −I am very happy to have a roof over my head. But sometimes it’s so hard not to be able to move a chair and hang a picture when you’ve had your own for such a long time.
I am also alone for the first time in my life; no siblings to take care of, children are grown and doing great. No one tells you about this part of life. You can’t burn the candle on both sides any more; you don’t have that kind of energy.
It’s not easy having my daughter and son-in-law pay the mortgage that I once paid so proudly. It was my badge of honor. Somehow it said I had made it…this was my own piece of the pie. Sometimes I feel so unworthy and other times so lucky. Is this the way I’m going out? Is this my fate? Am I spending the rest of my life feeling sorry for myself?
Hell, no! I am reinventing who I am. If I can get out of the bed each and every morning making life good for others, I sure as hell can get out of the space and make life good for me. I am worth whatever it takes for me to finally have the life I want. Instead of being a caretaker I am going to take care. Come on, get your ass up and let’s face the wonderful possibilities. They are endless!
And maybe, “You don`t go to hell for the things you do. Maybe you go to hell for the things you don`t do.” Chuck Palahniuk
You always have the power to reinvent yourself. It starts with facing what you feel, looking at where that feeling is coming from. Look at things that have shaped your life. Always take the blame for the situation you find yourself in, blaming others makes you powerless.
Read books that will give you more insight about yourself. Surround yourself with positive people. Sometimes you might have to find a support group. Just be willing to do whatever it takes for you to have the life you desire and deserve.
I will have bills for the rest of my life, but if so at least let them be for me and not because I’m taking care of others. Everyday you have the opportunity to create a new you. You’re not stuck. I used to tell my kids every morning before they went off to school, “Just do it!”
Even if you don’t like it, just do it again…and let me add, or don’t do it at all. It’s your call.
Alfreda “Freda” Lanoix, author of “Go to HELL”, is as irreverent and audacious as her new book. Fearlessly truthful and extraordinarily insightful, she views the world through a multi-faceted lens of laughter and self examination. Freda is currently in demand as a workshop facilitator, keynote speaker, lecturer, conference trainer and guest panelist. Whether in a church, a classroom, an auditorium, or a nightclub, Alfreda Lanoix is determined to speak and experience her own truth, even if that means she has to go to hell to do it. To contact her visit her website.